Things I Have Done

A friend and new mom just wrote about locking herself out of the house with her "baby in tow." My first thought was that I would have locked myself out of the house with my baby inside. And that led me to try to encourage her with all the things I have done as a mom that might make her feel better:

*shut Emma's entire hand in the car door when she was less than 2 years old

*dropped Grace on her head in a parking lot when I tripped and fell over a piece of bright yellow CAUTION tape

*left Eli in a shopping cart in an aisle at the grocery store because I honestly forgot I had him

*started to walk out of the Marine General Store without Zeke because I honestly forgot I had him

*let Emma fall off a picnic table because I was busy being horrified at Gracie who was eating a cigarette butt

Well, that's the walk down So You Want To Be A Mom Memory Lane. I'll soon remember 10 more things that would get me fired if this job didn't have such incredible security. But that's enough for now. Hope everyone feels a lot better about their parenting.