The News

Last night I thought it would be impossible to learn anything more about Michael Jackson. Instead, I learned a fact I might consider being in the Top Five Disturbing Things About Michael Jackson.

He homeschooled.

I may never be the same.

Now, in addition to incredibly disturbing images of him with umbrellas, a weird nose, a white face, pressed lips and a creepy, breathy voice, I have to wonder:

What curriculum did he use?

Did he submit report cards?

Did they go on field trips?

What did he do for science?

And the most important question:

Did he ever wear a denim jumper and french braid his hair?

New Territory

I just crossed into new territory today. I bought a skirt to go with my swimsuit. Not a skirt to go with a tailored blazer or a skirt to wear on Sunday or a skirt to go to an important meeting. No, this is a skirt in which to go swimming. My husband does not even know.

Reading glasses, coming soon.

Trying to be a Good Mom

Three of my children went to soccer camp this morning. It gave me a chance to have a little date with Zeke. We went to the zoo. Gracie graciously accompanied us.

I have tried to balance the influence of teenage sisters on Zeke's growing up with having a childhood that a preschool teacher would recognize. A free zoo? Perfect.

We spent an hour there with me, dutifully reciting the proper names of the animals to a very wary Zeke. Maybe it's not so great being at the same level as the snow leopard who looks like he already knows what you would taste like if he could just get through the glass.

When we were done I asked Zeke what his favorite animal was. "The elephant," he said confidently.

"And what else?" I said, getting annoyingly similar to a Children's Zoo Expert Volunteer.

"The waterfall," he said.

And by the way, there were no elephants.

*sigh*

Today I went to Walmart (I know, again) where I watched my two year old lie down right on the floor. I got home and set him in a lawn chair on the front porch with a very blue, very Crisco-y sugar cookie. He got set outside on a lawn chair for two reasons:

1. I had to drink a cup of coffee before I had the energy to put him to bed. That's because I was tired from cleaning the kitchen to get rid of the ants that had decided to come to my kitchen and gather around food particles that I can't even see.

2. I didn't want Blue Crisco Walmart Cookie Crumbs becoming a meal for ant families who must lurk just outside the door.

I scraped the side of the van against a pillar in the Stillwater Library Parking Structure Made By Sociopaths.

I slammed my finger in the dishwasher.

I had to read a lot of my daughter's science to help her figure out the answers.

I thought I lost one of Zeke's doggies without which he will not sleep nor function.

I tried to order some school materials. The site spun and spun trying to calculate my shipping costs. The order was actually supposed to ship for free.

I fought with Joel about how to be sincerely helpful when I am drowning in the sea of futility and post traumatic Walmart stress syndrome.

Then I went on a walk. The heavens were declaring the glory of God. I chatted with my neighbor. My husband came and picked us up because he thought we'd been out for a long time. I had ice cream. I read my daughter's blog about how much she likes our family. I talked with someone about their newborn baby and realized that I have had the pleasure of 5. I have 50 junior high kids coming to my house tomorrow. I have 3 tablespoons of wine and 5 crackers with cheese.

That's a little summary of the day.

It got better.

The Advantages to Cleaning My Room

I was getting ready to throw away a piece of paper. Until I read the back. There, I found a list of things which have the potential to change my life.

The list is called "Forms of Dying." It is by John Piper. It caught my eye because I know someone who is dying. Then it caught my eye because of how very much this list needs to apply to me.

Here it is. May it be a blessing to you.

Forms of dying:

-dying to the desire for an untroubled life

-Having no jealousy means dying to the desire for unshared affection.

-Not boasting means dying to the desire to call attention to our successes.

-Not acting unbecomingly means dying to the desire to express our freedom offensively.

-Not seeking our own way means dying to the dominance of our own preferences.

-Not being easily provoked means dying to the need for no frustrations.

-Not taking account of wrongs means dying to the desire for revenge.

-Bearing all things and enduring all things means dying to the desire to run away from the pain of obedience.

From a sermon called "The Greatest of These is Love" delivered on June 25, 1995.

More sermons and resources at Desiring God.

I Was Right

I didn't think there would be much time this week to do anything but Fiddle Camp. I was right. The week was great and is now even better since my 32 hour headache has gone away.

Here are some things I did this week that I have never done before:

1. Make a pasta salad for 40 people

2. Make a taco salad for 40 people

3. Make O'Henry Bars, rice crispie bars, apple kuchen bars and brownies for 40 people.

4. Work with a fantastic group of women who all pitched in at the last minute and made numbers 1,2 and 3 possible.

5. Use pots and pans that were bigger than I am.

6. Order 17 pizzas for the 65 people we had at our house last night.

Here are some things I did not do last week:

1. Fold laundry

2. Vacuum

3. Cook for any members of my family

4. Obsess about my Ethiopian daughter

5. Blog

Click here for a link to Brian Wicklund/Fiddlepal. If you want to hear a really fun fiddle player, buy his CD "Big Twang." Or come to fiddle camp next year. There will be plenty of food to go around.

Pets

We've tried to be a Pet Friendly Family: started with cats. Had a baby, shaved the cats, gave away the cats. Had more children, got a rabbit. Liked the rabbit, rabbit had babies. Rabbit had babies with her babies. Gave them all away. Got a guinea pig. Liked the guinea pig. Moved it with us to Minnesota, guinea pig had seizures, buried it in our yard.

Got a hamster. Liked it. Had it escape several times. Found it on the lap of Emma's American Girl doll. Kind of cute, kind of creepy. Hamster looked sort of flattish one morning. Died soon after. Buried it in the yard.

Got a dog. Liked it.... for maybe a day. Chewed things, bit things, yapped, barked, whined, pottied, ran away, smelled bad. 8 days later, gave it to our neighbor's grandma.

We are now petless. But I have been to a hobby farm. I have now felt new hope rise in me that we do like animals, we just haven't found the right one yet. I think part of the problem was that we've had housepets. Those 2 words do not go together for me. It's like having an indoor firepit. The other part of the problem is that we have had un-useful pets: none of them could pull things around, none of them could do yard work, none of them could make anything to eat unless we killed the thing and ate it. Which kind of defeats the purpose of a pet.

Meet The Pygmy Goat:

I could pull things, like a stick or two, out of the woods.

I might pull a small child in a cart so you could get important things done.

I wouldn't trample you if you came close to me.

I make cheese.

So, hope springs eternal. Because it just seems like good people also need to like animals. Plus, I wouldn't spend $4.89 on a tiny little log of goat cheese. I could just walk out the back door and....make some.