I was feeling sad about something this weekend. I prayed that today's sermon might solve this particular struggle I was having. It did, at least in part.
I was struggling with the fact that God can seem to hold lightly the lives of orphans: they are starving, are sick, are neglected, are cast aside by almost everyone. Then He chose two of them, had their pictures pop up in my inbox in America and had me fall completely in love. The problem is that I have all the love and absolutely no power. God, on the other hand, has all the power but can seem to have less of the love if one focuses on the circumstances of an orphan. "I just need more power," I thought last night. "Give it to me and by sheer determination I will solve this court date, paper trail, embassy date issue. I need 24 hours."
Today's sermon addressed God's power being stronger than our will. Our pastor asked, "Do you really want it to be up to you?" That's when I realized, what if God did say to me, "Ok. You do it, Marty. This adoption is completely up to you." That would not be good news at all. That would be cause for real panic, as opposed to my frequent but often unfounded panics. (how will we pay for the dentist was one of the latest)
While I cannot solve the issue of orphan suffering in the plan of God (although my first thought is, "See Cross") I did have the issue of power solved for me. I don't want it. It is very clear that God has enough.
"Ah, Lord God! It is you who has made the heavens and the earth by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you. You show steadfast love to thousands...O great and mighty God, whose name is the Lord of hosts, great in counsel and mighty in deed, whose eyes are open to all the ways of the children of man..." Jeremiah 32:17-19