Yet Another Pet Idea

In our history of marriage, we have had the following pets: cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamster, fish and dog. I toyed with the idea of pygmy goat until The Washington County Fair Visit changed my mind. Even the Grand Champions are not cute.

I wasn't ready to quite give up the goat idea however. I think because they are semi useful and semi cute and don't want to sleep in my bed.

And now, I may not have to because not one, but two friends have verified the existence of something called Fainting Goats. As soon as I heard about them, I had the following conversation with Levi:

Me: Hey Levi, I heard about something called fainting goats.

Levi: How do you do it?

Me: Well, I think that if someone scares them, they faint.

Levi: Could I faint the goat?

Me: I think we'd have to take turns.

Levi: What day would I get?

Me: Oh, probably the same day that you get to pray first for devotions.

Levi: What if I scared it, but it didn't faint?

Me: I'd let you try three times a day.

Levi: What if it fainted on the first try?

Me: Then you'd be done.

Levi: That's good. They probably don't want to faint all the time.

If You Can't Be Tough, At Least Read the Puritans.

I like to think that I'm in a class of people that some might consider rugged...or determined...or steadfast. I also think that if anyone lived inside my head, they would know I am none of these things, except maybe determined and that is not always in a good way.

To compensate, I have been reading the prayers of people for whom rugged and steadfast would be just the beginning. The book is called Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayer and Devotions. It has been really helpful in this journey of waiting for a baby. Here is an excerpt of my current favorite prayer:

"My sin is to fear what never will be;

I forget to submit to thy will, and fail to be quiet there.

But Scripture teaches me that thy active will

reveals a steadfast purpose on my behalf,

and this quietens my soul, and makes me love thee." (p. 85)

My Weekend Alone; Kind Of

Joel took the 4 older kids to Chicago this weekend. They saw a U2 concert. They said it was incredible. It looks incredible from the iphone footage I've just been watching. I admire Bono but his music makes me crabby in 4 minutes and 32 seconds. I know because I timed it once.

So, I stayed home with Zeke. It was really different.

1. The house stayed clean; well, clean-ish.

2. I did one load of laundry.

3. Most of what was in the dishwasher was coffee mugs.

4. I had complete thoughts.

5. I thought too much about the baby we don't have yet.

6. Only 2 places at the table were dirty rather than the entire 8 foot length.

7. Zeke doesn't eat all that much.

8. Zeke accounts for a lot of what is on the floor.

9. I had pita and hummus and cookies for 2 meals in row.

10. I'm really, really happy to see my 4 kids and my husband.

Qualifications of a Wife

Emma has been conducting a class with Eli (11) and Levi (7). She asked them last night what they think is important when one is thinking of a future spouse. Here are their answers:

Eli: I want her to have teeth.

Levi: She shouldn't bow down to idols.

Misfortunes at the Airport

We had been on vacation. More appropriately, we had followed Joel to Colorado to watch him do the Leadville 100. I did a lot of single parenting at a high altitude. This is, what I believe, led me to do two things: buy realistic looking cap guns (metal) and pack said realistic cap gun in Eli's carry on.

We were in the security line. Joel and Eli were ahead of me. I had my shoes off, my 3 oz. bottles of gel in a ziploc, Zeke's baby formula properly identified, when the line stopped.

"We have a situation up here," radioed a very alert looking security man. "Who still can't figure out what a 3 oz bottle looks like?" I thought arrogantly.

Joel began to frantically motion toward...me. I walked up to the front of the line.

"Do you want to surrender this gun?" Highly Alerted Security Officer asked.

"The what? the huh? the oh..... the realistic looking cap gun. That I packed. In a carry on."

Gun surrendered, Eli crying, me properly humbled, we made it to our flight.

Two days ago, we were once again in the security line at the airport. Hand sanitizer, toothpaste, lip gloss out. Shoes off, phone out, purse in grey bin. Levi turned to me just before going through the detector and said, "What about my pocket knife?"

Things That Make Me Feel More Organized Even When I'm Not

1. A three hole punch.

2. Full bottles of cleaning solutions.

3. Full bottles of hand soap.

4. Freshly washed bath mats.

5. A plan for the next meal.

6. An unloaded dishwasher.

Keeping Busy

One piece of advice I got regarding the interminable wait for a baby was to "stay busy." To this end, I became Levi's soccer coach. We had a scrimmage last night. The other coach yelled (nicely) to his team, "Positions, everyone! Remember what I taught you!!"

I had just informed my team, "Run that way. Make a goal."

We won. 11-1.

I also decided to be busy making monster cookies. It had the following stunning list of ingredients: 2 pounds of brown sugar, 1 pound of butter, 1 pound of M&Ms and 3 pounds of peanut butter. I lightened it up a little bit by using 12 oz of M&Ms instead of the recommended 16oz and a mere 2 pounds of peanut butter instead of 3. I balanced it all out by adding 18 cups of oatmeal. That makes monster cookies fairly close to a whole grain biscuit. With a smattering of artificial color.