Small Talk

I find it easy, for the most part, to make small talk, especially if I am in a situation where it is important for me to appear polite.

I have found 3 situations in which it is hard for me to make small talk: annual exams at the doctor; check ups at the dentist, and today, a new place: the pharmacist. Specifically, the pharmacist to pick up Albenza, "an anthelmintic used to treat infections caused by tapeworms."

Usually Sue, the checker-outer at the pharmacy, is the only person I see. Today, there was a "gathering" at the pharmacy counter: two pharmacists and Sue. All curious eyes seemed to want to ask the same question: are you Lizzie and are you contagious? They made a point of telling me, not the side effects but the fact that "we didn't have this medicine in stock." Suddenly, I didn't feel the need to be polite so much as the need to appear... clean. competent. not Lizzie. But instead of small talk, out came what is commonly known as Too Much Information. "We've had her home for three months, but the first stool samples leaked." "Oh, she's probably had these parasites all her life but she's just used to them."

The good news is the prescription was only $8.53. In an effort to make everyone feel more comfortable about this very personal transaction, I said, "Wow. I thought it would be closer to a million dollars. Maybe they feel sorry for people who need parasite medication."

A weak "heh-heh" was all that I got from the curious audience which now included at least 2 other customers who were probably picking up medication for tennis elbow and golf knee.

The other good news: I got a $10 giftcard with my new prescription. So actually I got paid to have parasites.

Snacks of the Tired

I dragged us to the library. Again. This time, the only thing threatening to accost me was the No Handicapped Door Button Press Thing. I had Sadie, who weighs 16 pounds in my arms and 45 pounds in her car seat, dangling from my left forearm. I had 17 books in a Huggies diaper box that I was carrying in both hands. I got the door open, wedged myself and the car seat in it and made the mistake of saying, "Lizzie? Honey, can you hold the door open?"

"Door?"

"Yes, can you hold it open?"

"Open?"

And with this final moment of complete incomprehension, she tried to duck under the suspended car seat and between my leg and the door. It was one of those moments that creates an out of body experience where one says, "And now I wonder what I will look like when I lose my mind."

We made it in and made it out and made it home and made it into bed. I sat at my table. I drank a Peach Citrus Fresca. I ate half of a glazed donut. I made and drank a caramel latte. It was the weirdest snack ever and it was perfect.

Now, I am looking forward to having wine and cheese with my husband. As I reflect on this day, I am grateful for the friend who sent me this verse:

"Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them." -Psalm 119:140

Lizzie's Help

Levi and I were cleaning out the hamster cage. The hamsters were happily rolling around in dirty plastic hamster balls. Lizzie noticed.

"Here, Levi," she said. We turned around. She was holding both hamster/hamster balls, one in each hand.

"Oh, Lizzie. We don't need them yet," I say in my Sweet Teaching Toddler Voice. "You can go put them back in the hallway."

3 seconds later: THUNK!!! THUNK!!!!

Me, in my I'm Now Tired Of Toddlers Voice: "Levi, go see if the hamsters are dead."

Sadie's Brothers Love Her

Tonight Eli was holding Sadie. His first remark was "Ewwwww. She has sweaty armpits." (Sadie is all of 8 months old) After that observation, he and Levi's next logical step was to talk about her ability to fight off attackers.

"She could spin around!"
"And spray everyone!"
"With spray from her armpits!"

She loved the attention. And I think she's still too young to know about self esteem.

"Banned"

I had a husband-sponsored night out. He stayed home with the toddlers and baby; I took the older kids to a movie. While they were there, I went to my favorite library. I returned the books that make me not want to read to my children anymore: Sleepy, Sleepy Bed and Anna Shares, just to name a few. And, by the way, Anna does not share. Her friend has to go home because she won't share 2 cookies, then she "shares" with her teddy bear and some other thing that doesn't eat. I need to write children's books. But that's another blog.

I got 24 items at the library. It was like a new wardrobe. I took them to the self check out scanner at which point I was informed (after a bonking noise, not the welcoming beep) that I was "banned from checking out items." The good news is, I knew why. I had returned a DVD case without the DVD in it. The case was returned at least 2 weeks ago; the DVD was returned today.

"You have to go find the supervisor," the circulation desk person informed me.

I found Diane. She pulled up my records and frowned. "You have an $8 fine."

"I know. But I returned it today."

"Yes, but it took a long time. And you've done this before."

"I know. But I have 7 kids. 2 are from Ethiopia..." I trailed off. Diane had less than no interest in my story. Her focus was entirely on the fact that "Very Hungry Caterpillar" disc and case had been separated for much longer than the allotted time and that furthermore, I was a repeat offender.

She took off the fine eventually with this warning: "I'm making a note that I told you I would only do this once."

So now I live with The Bad Library Credit Rating for...ever. It will probably have its own sound when I scan my card.

But I have my 24 new items. And for that, I am thankful.

Going North

We just got home from "up north." That means we jammed ourselves and our stuff into the Suburban and drove 5 hours up. Thankfully, there is a well-placed Caribou Coffee in Duluth. It tasted particularly good during the snowstorm yesterday.

Here are some observations about going up north with 7 kids:

1. I can parent with no technology (tv) as long as we have a wheelbarrow, rocks, sticks, snacks and the biggest lake in the entire world just out the back door.

2. Hiking is interesting. Good thing Lizzie and Sadie are still pretty light and the other kids are willing to help out.

3. Fishing was interesting. That was Joel's Mother's Day present to me. Not that I went fishing but that he went with 5 of the 7 kids. The two he left behind were napping.

Time for me to feed one, get one up and take one potty. More soon.

Little Pieces of News

1. We are going to take everyone to a cabin near Lutsen. We leave tomorrow. Zeke keeps asking Lizzie what her "favorite part" of the cabin is. Then gets mad when she doesn't answer.

2. Did our first college visit yesterday with Emma. Went to University of St. Thomas. Liked it.

3. Figured out that by the time Sadie graduates, I will have been parenting from 1994 to 2027.

4. Talked to my girls today about what I'll be like when I'm old. Figure I'll be weird after all this parenting. I just don't think there's any way to avoid it.

5. Nearly bought a chocolate chip chocolate muffin with chocolate frosting to eat for breakfast. Resisted.

6. Had coffee, a banana and Peanut M&Ms for breakfast the other day.

7. Don't want people to say,

"I don't know HOW you do it" because I don't either. And sometimes I don't.

8. It's all worth it.

Emma with Sadie in Ethiopia. 1994 (Emma's birthday) to 2027 (Sadie's graduation). Well worth it.